-1- 

Even though I was sure that Rhett and I were the only ones in the house let alone on the commune I still walked quietly back up the stairs and to the top floor. Something was drawing me to Caine's bedroom, like there was something there I was missing.

I decided to start searchin at the bookcase, it seemed to be the central point on the room. As I stood infront of the towering bookcase I couldn't help but to wonder what would happen if all the books came topling down on me. I pushed the thought out of my head and approached the bookcase. I don’t know why going through Caine’s things fascinated me so much, I just wanted to get inside his head like he had gotten inside of mine. He seemed to know everything about me and my family  but, I knew virtually nothing about him.  All of the books on the bookshelves looked nearly identical; thick spines, glossy covers in muted colors. They  had titles like Sublime Pathos, Foundations of Abnormal Psychology,  The Power of Religion. The textbooks themselves seemed pretty normal, I opened one to see a sticky with Caine's careful script on it. I guess he had read all these books. To the left of the bookcase was a smaller shelf marked religious texts, those book looked even older but still pretty normal. I made note of one book and decided to look elsewhere in the room.

 I opened the closet and it was filled with dark color suits, in the back was a circular hanger with a bunch of ties hanging off the edge. The closet was a walk-in and I went into the back of the closet to see if something was  and felt something hard under my foot. I gropped in the darkness until I caught something and  I pulled it out and into the light of the room. It was a small laptop computer. I sat at the desk and opened the computer, starting it up. There was no password on it and when it  was booted up I  immediately saw a window popped up, I clicked on it and a  screen popped up  that showin  an empty room.

It was the room I had been staying in when I lived here. I clicked around some more and found there were angles frome every part of the room-- even in the bathroom.  It seemed to be a live  feed and not recording. How long had he been watching me ? Why had he been watching me ? I exited out of the screen and clicked arounfd the rest of the desktop. There was nothing else on the computer so, decided to just hold on to it.

I started looking through the drawers and it had run of the mill office supplies but,, there was nothing that told me anything about Caine. I just didn’t get him. I was about to shut the last drawer when I noticed a thick bound black notebook. I opened to see it was a journal of some kind, it had page after page of Caine's handwriting. I walked over to the bed where the light was the brightest and sittin down I studied the book closer. It was just lists of UL members and things about them, little things like physical description and personality traits.

I found a page with my name with a long list of physical descritptions of me. I flipped to the next page to see my mothers name and fathers. He called them loyal, kind and good examples-- nothing that surprised me. I started flippin through to see what he wrote on other members.

I flipped through the book page after page . . . 

“What the fuck are you doin' ?”

I opened my eyes and sat  up to see Rhett standing at the door, I noticed the sun was back up. I looked at what I was sitting on and realized I had fallen asleep on Caine’s bed. I got up and tearing a page out the notebook still in my hand I began to write a note explaining to him but, I didn’t  have a pen. I got up and walked out the door to look for a pen but Rhett blocked me from leaving the door with his body  and handed me a pen.

I  started scribbling out a long note, explaining to him about the computer and how I was trying to learn more about Caine.

He took the note and looked it over.

“You’re a genius Juliana,” Rhett said

I looked over the note to see if he was seeing what I wrote but he was looking at the wrong side. He was looking at a page with Caine's handwriting.The page had a list TLs names but, instead of just physical traits it had places where they were from.

Rhett took the book and searched through it until he found Ricky's name.

“Damnit,.,” Rhett said, “This says he is from South Dakota, that’s like a 24 hours from here,”

I was trying to see a problem with this. It's not like we had a choice and if we rushed we could still get back in time for the beginning of the trial.

“I  guess we should be goin',” he sighed

We should call Raleigh

“I really wish you could do that,” he said,”I hate talking to that smug son of a bitch.”

I think we both knew Raleigh was upset that we had left without telling him and he was probabaly still angry.

We can do it later.

We packed up the laptop and put it in the car. There was still some non-perishable food in the house so, we packed that up and brought it along as well.

"Ready to go ?," Rhett asked as we stood in the foyer of the house.

I nodded my head and we walked out to the car together.

 Leaving the commune, I got the same feeling I always had.  Like I was never going to see this place again, like I was going away from a home that meant more than anything to me. Of course unlike those other few times, I had a right to these feelings. If I could help it, I was never coming back to this place.

“We should make one stop first,” Rhett said.

I was to lost in thought to question his statement, we seemed to be heading towards the highway but, Rhett made a slight left and we went into town and off the side of a gas station towards a neighborhood of mismatched cramped looking house.   Rhett pulled the car to the backyard  of one of the  houses.

“I’m just going to get some clothes,” he said getting out the car and opening my door,”Ain’t no use in lettin’ anyone  know I was here. You know how small towns are. I guess you can borrow some of my mom’s clothes . . .  I mean if you want.”

I kept a few steps behind him as he approached the back door and unlocked it.

"Home sweet home," he said under his breath,"I'll be right back,"

 He immediately dissapeared into one of the back rooms, leaving me in the living room. It was small but, looked comforting all the furniture was a light yellow with mini flower design, there was a coffee table with random pieces of paper and mail on it. Directly across from the couch was a bureau holding a tv and above that it was lined with a clutter of pictures frames. I walked closer and examined the pictures. If for some reason I never got to see Rhett  when he got  older I know knew what he would look like just by looking at his dad's picture. His dad was wearing army fatigues, posed behind an American flag and his eyes were looking just out of the frame. Mr.Clark and Rhett  had the same gentle physical features, solem facial expression,  their eyes were the same shade of watery green.

In what looked like a more recent family picture was his mother and sister, Savannah. I couldn't get over how beautiful Mrs.Clark was and how they all seemed like the perfect family.

"Hey,"

I turned to see Rhett had changed clothes and handed me some to change into.

"You can change in Savannah's room," he said and then he seemed to notice where I had been looking, " You know, he was only 8 years older than me when he died ? That freaks me out sometimes,"

I nodded my head, I was sure Rhett was a lot like him.

I changed clothes and met him outside in the backyard. For the first time I noticed the decaying play set out back. This place seemed so nice, I had no idea why Rhett always seemed to hate it so much.

“We should get out of here before someone sees me,” he said

We headed out of Freeport and back on to the highway.

  I remembered thesmall red  book, I had taken from Caine's bookshelf and started flipping through it.

“Now, what are you doing,?” he asked,” You readin' the Bible ? Just when I thought I understood you,”

Caine said something about Job and the Bible. I  need to understand.

“You ain't gonna find it in there. That's the new testament, Job is in the Jewish Bible.You know  that stupid book was part of the reason I joined United Light,” he said,” Always pushin' it down my throat,"

Feeling defeated I put the book in the glove compartment.

"Job was this guy who was like a pawn to God, I mean in my opinion," he sighed  "God did everything to test his faith, took his house, killed his kids, gave him boils,  but, Job was still faithful he still believed in God and never cursed him”

He was a good example then.

“I think he was a idiot,” he laughed, “But some think he is an example of faithfullness.”

I wandered back to my the analogy Caine made to my mother.

Do you think my mom was a fool ?

“I don’t know," Rhett said timidly, " I ain't ever  really set eyes on your mother,”

It was true, I was asking a tough question of him.

“I mean,” he began,” Your mom died believing in United Light and believing you believed in it so, isn’t that good enough ?”

I didn’t know

IWe never think about mom. Dad won't talk about her. Do you think my dad and I are terrible people ?

“You know what I think about your dad,” he said,”I mean my dad’s been gone for  like 8 years and I’ve never seen Mama so much as look at another man like that. It would kind of piss me off if she let someone else into Savannah’s and I’s life. But, I guess your case is different.”

I hadn't seen my dad since our big fight. My dad had every right to be mad at me but, I think some of it was fustration from having to live with me for all this time and not being able to help him. I was ready to shoulder all the blame and do whatever it took for us to get along again.

I got a fresh piece of paper and bean writing a letter I would send to my dad. I had been working on it for a while when I was distracted by rhythmic tapping of Rhett’s fingers on the sterrin wheel. His eyes that were shifting on the road

“Um, Juliana ?” he said

I looked up, I noticed he looked worried.

“I have no idea where the hell we are,”

 

* * *

“What  the hell is wrong with you two ?!” Raleigh shouted

I tried to block it out and kept my eyes on the road but, I knew whatever he was saying could impact us in a good or bad way.

"What the hell are you talking about ? Why are you just now calling me ?," he said trying to remain calm, "Just get your asses back here as soon as you can or my ass is on the line,"

He slammed the phone shut as I pulled up into Jennifer's office complex.

"Is everything okay ?," I asked innocently

"No," he said, "They are in the mid-west-- I have no idea why--- and they got turned around and the court date is tomorrow, what am I supposed to do ? Not to mention Mr. Reese knows his car is missing and he is going to find out his daughter is missing too,"

I walked with him up the steps and towards the elevator.

"Tell me you have some idea to postpone this ?," he asked me

"I'm not the lawyer," I said, "I'm really sorry about this but, if they get the evidence won't it make it better."

He didn't say anything and we made our way inside Jennifer's office. She had a deceiving smile on her face.

“Ms. Caine I have to ask-“

“First, Mr.Cameron I want you to thank me from withholding the charges on your client,”

“Forget it,” Raleigh said,”It doesn’t matter, the thing is I need an extension to postpone the court date.”

"I can't really allow that, the judge is busy and you've used all your extensions getting evidence. I hope you have a good reason,"

I looked down at my phone as they kept talking.

"I do," he said

"What is it ?," she asked crossing her arms

“Raleigh, your girlfriend is in the hospital," I said quietly  "She is having contractions,”

“Girlfriend ?” he asked

“Yes, your girlfriend," I said showing him my newest text message, "Cecelia,”

-2-

I never new how comforting silence could be, it was nice. I really hoped Rhett felt the same way because for the last day we had driven in almost complete silence. We had gotten lost but, found our way again in a matter of hours and now a day later we were just arriving into South Dakota.  During the trip I had scribbled my entire notebook away, I was starting to like writing my words instead of speaking them, it was nice being held accountable for all I said.

The town was small and boasted a population of 800. We rode up and down the streets and neighborhoods until we found the one that was listed near Ricky Morialo's name in Caine's book. The house had a large yard and long driveway, it was one of the  biggest homes we had seen in the town.

,Rhett parked the car  across the street and we both seemed unsure of what to do.

“How exactly are we goin' to do this ?”

Let's just ask. We have to hurry and get back.

I didn't just want to get back just for the court case though, I was ready to make amends with Dad.

Rhett told me to walk in front of him as we went to he front door. I rang the bell and the door was immediatley opened by a tall man in a suit.

"We're looking for Ricky, is he here ? We are friends,"

"I'm his stepfather, he didn't say anything about friends but, I'll get him,"

Rhett slid to the side of the house out of view from the front door as I heard the sounds of somone coming down steps.

Ricky quickly opened the door and he seemed shocked  and quickly starts to shut the door in my face but, Rhett stops it before it closes

“Hey," he said trying to brush off trying to close the door in my dace, "You are last people I expected to  see and all. Come on in”

We followed him up the stairs and into his bedroom, the walls we covered in posters and images of violence and beautiful women.

"What the hell is up with your room ?," Rhett asked, half amused.

"It's just video game stuff," he responded,"Mostly from when I was younger . . .  I just never took it down. So what brings you guys here ?"

"You who made a tape of Caine beatin' on Juliana--"

"No, I didn't--," he said

"You're a shitty liar," Rhett said, " I also know you messed with the one uploaded online. We just need the original and we will go"

"That lawyer dude--Raleigh said I didn't have to," Ricky argued, "Besides I could get into trouble or something,"

"Damnit, Ricky no one gives a fuck about what weird ass shit you are into," Rhett yelled at him, "Why the--,"

I put my hand on Rhett's shoulder for a second and he stopped mid-sentence as I wrote a note for Ricky.

Please, I need it to get  it.. I need to get Caine back, please.  We won’t tell anybody we got it from you. Please.

"I got the tape,"  he said, "But, I want  money for it, like 500$."

"Why ?," Rhett asked, "So, you can runaway again ? Stop being a bitch and--"

"No," he said," What will it do for me, huh ? Besides I don't trust you or the bitch you're fucking."

"I'm ain't fuckin' her---,"

"Really because--"

Rhett's fist connected with Ricky's face and he crouched over holding his face. Looking through the fingers on his face he shoved Rhett and Rhett pushed him to the ground and leaning over him started delivering blows to his face. I could see Ricky's arms flailing in the air, trying to make contact Rhett. Ricky's face was red, his breathing] labored and I could hear him gulping for air, I was about to approach Rhett to stop him when he finally let go of Ricky.

"Get the hell out of here !," Ricky wheezed

"Give us the tape," Rhett said, "Or we can try this again."

Ricky crawled on his knees over to his desk and pulled out a shoe box of mini DVs. He shuffled through them and finally threw one in our direction.

"Now, get the hell out," he said

Rhett picked up the tape and walked out of the room, I followed behind him as we went back to the car. When we got inside he took my pen away from me.

"I really don't want to hear it," he said backing out and speeding out of the driveway.

* * *

Since the first day I met her the one thing that had always unnerved me about Cecelia Winston was her smile and how she always seemed to have some variation of it on, even when she was sitting in a hospital with her new friends turned family around her.

"Thank you guys for coming--,"

"No, actually thank you," Raleigh said

"It's fine though, the doctor said it was just preterm contractions, it was nothing serious. I'm fine,"

"Did it hurt like a bitch ?," I asked

"It wasn't too bad actually," she smiled," But, I have some time to prepare,"

"Ready to go, baby ?," Greg said from the door," I checked you out. We can go,"

I took one of her hands and Sam took the other as we headed for the hospital doors.

"When you were with the doctors Greg and I were talking," Sam said

"Okay . . . ," she answered

"We know we've been stressing you out--,"

"You know that isn't the cause of this ?," she interrupted," This is natural,"

"I know but, we want to work things out better. I mean I realized I wasn't here just for the baby but, for you too. And Greg wasn't here for just you but, the baby also."

"Well, it's good she'll have a father and stepfather who care so much about her,"

Raleigh and I hung back trying not to get in the middle of their personal moment.

"That's kind of good to hear," Raleigh said

"What ?," I asked

"That those three can come to the same conclusion within United Light and without it.," he said,