-1-
“I hope you don’t mind this,” Cecelia said to me
I shook my head even though I did find the situation a tiny bit awkward
I had gotten to know Cecelia more over the summer but it still felt awkward being around her while she was in the doctor’s office.
“So . . . how is Greg ?” Sam asked stroking Cecelia’s shoulders
“ He is fine. He’s working now,” she said,” As soon as everything gets settled with the baby, maybe I can get some work playing music.”
“Is that a bit impractical ?” Sam said
She shrugged
“We are artist,” she smiled,” Practicality is impractical to us,”
“Babies don’t exactly eat practicality,” he said but she just laughed
“I’m just kidding,” she smiled," I know the baby comes first,"
It seemed to me Cecelia, Greg and Sam in their odd situation had a better time adjusting than I had to life outside of United Light. None of them seemed to miss it and from what I had seen there relationship with each other was intact.
I was a bit shaken by the video but only in the sense that it was cruel not because it brought back any memories that traumitized me. I had seemed to internalize a lot of feeling about what had happened to me. It just did not bother me as much as I thought it would.
I had spent a lot of time with Raleigh that past few days watching him work with endless paperwork but, today he was going to interview Caine and he didn’t think I should go, so he suggested I spend the day with Cecelia.
I liked watching her fit her acoustic guitar over her
stomach and play a few folk tunes. When
Sam came by to take her to the doctors I expected to stay at the house but, she
insisted I come with her and when we arrived she wanted me to come into the
exam room with her.
An ultrasound technician in bright green flowery scrubs came into the room and exchanged greetings with Sam and Cecelia. She dimmed the lights and a loud pulse filled the room as she started the ultrasound machine
“It is definitely a girl,” the
technician said pointing to the figure on the screen.
“She is so pretty,” Cecelia said, practically in tears, “It looks so real,” she added touching the screen
“Can we have copies of the photos ?,” Sam asked
“Of course,” she said,”We can even give you a DVD”
In the car ride back to Cecelia’s house, Cecelia could not stop flipping through the images.
“I love her, so much,” she said, “ We need to think of a name soon. Something pretty and classic”
It amazed me how much she loved this baby who looked less than human to me in those photos. Did my mother love me that much when I was a fetus ?
I doubted it. No one could love
their child that much and then let someone like Caine into their lives to
control everything. Or maybe that first kind of love fades over time and you
grow to hate and resent the child. After all my father openly told me how he and my mom loved money for so long. How could I compare to money and success ?
Sam rounded the corner to the house and Cecelia hugged him goodbye as we headed up to the front door.
“I really want to bake something,” she thought outloud as we approached the front door.
Cecelia put her key in the door and then stopped.
“Do you hear something ?” she asked
I listened and I could hear a soft squeaking from the backyard. Cecelia and I exchanged looks and she motioned for me to follow her to the backyard. We walked quietly into the back of the house to see Rosa Erickson swinging on the porch swing.
“Oh my god,you scared us !” Cecelia said
It looks like San Costa was getting a little community of ex-United Light members
“Look !“ Cecelia exclaimed holding out the pictures, “You have to see the pic--
“Sorry to interrupt, Cece,” Rosa said, “ But, I just got a call from Elisa a while ago, Sawyer has just been arrested,”
***
“You can appeal his case, maybe ?” Rosa
asked picking something out of her coffee.
“There is no point,” Elisa said, “By the time it goes through he will be out.”
“I am not staying here for 7 months” Sawyer said, burying his head into his arms,"Shit,"
“You are such an idiot Sawyer,” Elisa seethed “Why the hell did you leave the state ? Why ?”
Somehow the law finally caught up to Sawyer, they had found out he violated his parole and he was forced to serve the rest of his sentence.
I had never been inside the Dade County Jail but, it did not appear as bad as it seemed. We were all sitting in what looked like a big lunchroom with table and chairs and a vending machine serving questionable coffee and hot chocolate. The room was pretty empty, Sawyer seemed to have the most guest with Rosa, Elisa and I.
“Elisa can you take over for me at the restaurant ?” he asked
“You know I can’t,” she said,” I have class and I am working with Raleigh—“
“You have time to work with Raleigh but, you can’t look after the diner ?”
“I am helping Raleigh because it will help me get a job outside of this town one day. I can’t live forever in this town like—“
“Like me ?” Sawyer finished for her
“That’s not what I was going to say,” she said,”This isn’t the time, I have to get back to school. Just don’t do anything and we will figure this out,”
She kissed him goodbye and Rosa and I followed her out
“Are you going to be okay ?” Rosa asked
“Of course,” Elisa said
“Listen when Raleigh gets home I’ll tell him to see what he can do,” Rosa said
“Don’t do that, he has enough to deal with,” Elisa said, ”I will figure it out,”
“Juliana, I’ll drive you back to your hotel,”
Rosa said.
Rosa and Elisa hugged and then parted ways.
“I hear that Jennifer is a real bitch. Raleigh is trying to get some evidence from her or something right now.” Rosa said as she got on the highway,” But, I think Raleigh likes her, He made a bet with her that winner has to buy loser drinks for a year. Then again maybe he only said it because he knows he is going to win,”
I nodded my head and we finished the rest of our car ride in silence. When she pulled up to the hotel, I got out and waved to her as she drove off.
-2-
I walked into the lobby and was about to take the stairs when I saw a familiar face walking a few feet in front of me.
I had never been so frustrated with myself
I wanted to shout out to Rhett to get his attention but, I couldn’t so I rushed up the stairs after him and rounded the corner just to see the door next to my hotel room closing.
There was an uncontrollable grin on
my face as I knocked on his door. Everybody in San Costa had been amazing but, Rhett
was the only one I felt like I could relate to. He opened the door a little bit
and stared down at me like he was expecting someone else.
“What ?,” he asked
I was caught off guard by his question, so I held my hand out to him.
“Look, I just got in. I’m tired, I’m goin’ to sleep. Can you leave me alone ?” He said closing the door in my face, my smile fell.
I knocked again.
"Leave me the hell alone!" he shouted through the door.
I stared at the door but, decided not to take offense to him. Maye he was tired. I scribbled a quick note and left it under his door.
My Dad is coming in 2 days. I want to spend time with you before he gets here
I left his door and went to the concierge desk in the hotel to look for things we could do tomorrow. The attractions all seemed so fascinating but, really all I wanted to do was just walk on the pier.
The next morning I decided to put some consideration into what to wear. I decided if I layered a light colored shirt and tights under a pink sundress it would not look so awkward. I put on a pair of pink flats and looked at the clock.
It was 9 AM, it was early but if Rhett had been asleep since last night he should be up. I put on a bit of lip gloss and went next door. Before I could knock on the door he opened the door fully dressed.
I reached my hand out to his but he just stared down at me and then kept walking. I quickly followed after him taking his hand
“Why are you following me?” He asked snatching his hand from mine.
I brushed it off and scribbled something about walking on the pier in a note and handed it to him.
“I’m meeting one of my friends who lives nearby,” he said,” Can you back off ? You are so goddamn clingy.”
I watched as he walked down the stairs. I tried to think back. Had I done something to make him upset ? Maybe I was too clingy, Cortland had said that too. Maybe I only thought Rhett wanted to spend time with me, he had never actually said it. Had he ?
I went back into my room and looked out the window until I saw Rhett was gone and I walked to the Pier and walked along the edge
All by myself.
-3-
“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, NOW !”
bang ! bang ! bang !
“ I SWEAR TO GOD ! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR !”
I heard the sound of more loud banging followed by more shouts and curses. I looked at the clock .
It was 7 AM.
I thought the noise was coming from my door but, it was from the door next door. I pulled my hair into a bun and quickly tied a scarf around it and went outside to see a redfaced Raleigh standing outside of Rhett’s door. He saw me but did not acknowledge me but instead knocked again.
“You better open up !,” Raleigh threatned,”I'm having the manager bringing me a key,”
I heard footsteps behind me and I saw a woman in a suit coming down the hall with a key in her hand which she promptly gave to Raleigh. Just as he stuck the key in the door Rhett opened it.
“Why the hell are you suddenly refusing to be my witness ?,” Raleigh asked him,” I need your deposition, so get your ass downstairs.”
“Leave me the hell alone," Rhett responded "Ms. Caine told me I don't have to be your witness and I'm not going to be. I just want to get out of here so I can go back to be with my family and be done with this shit,”
“Stop being selfish,” Raleigh said stepping closer to Rhett. I knew Raleigh was trying to intimidate him but, he didn’t know who he was dealing with.
“Get your ass downstairs in my car,”
Raleigh told him
“Back off me,” Rhett said stepping closer to Raleigh. Raleigh put his hand on Rhett's arm and Rhett shoved Raleigh hard. Raleigh stumbled backwards a bit and got back up to go after Rhett. As soon as Raleigh got close to him Rhett punched him in the face. Raleigh put his hand over his mouth and then looked up at Rhett with daggers in his eyes.
"You want to fight me ?" Raleigh half laughed, "You want to be treated like a man ? Fine."
I saw they were about to start fighting and I knew how Rhett could be so,I quickly ran in between them. I immediatley felt two sets of hands on me pushing me to the side.
“Stay the fuck out of this !,” Rhett
said to me as he approached Raleigh
I got up and went back over to Rhett holding him back, looking him in the eye.
This has to be Caine it had to be.
Why can’t you tell us what he is threatening you with ?
“You wannato say somethin’ to me
say it,” he said ,”Because if you ain't gonna open up you mouth, then just leave me alone."
I wanted more than anything to tell him.
“That’s what I thought. I am done with your shit. All of ya'll's shit.,” he said
and walked back into his room.
I turned behind me to see Raleigh standing up, a trickle of blood coming from his mouth. I took him into my room and gave him a napkin to dab the cut with.
“Fuck that kid,” Raleigh said as I started on a note,” That tape is still credible even without him. No one would believe a word that comes out of his ignorant mouth with that dumbass accent, anyway. Listen, your Dad s coming in this afternoon so, let’s just move on to that.”
I was planning on writing to Raleigh to tell him Caine must be behind this but, I just crumpled the note into my pocket.
“I need to go work on some stuff. Ms.Caine still hasn’t given me her evidence list so, I need to go bother her about that. Are you coming ?”
I shook my head. When Raleigh was cleaned up I watched him leave and then I got on to the bus. I had to do somethings on my own.
I knew the address, I had seen it on Jennifer and Raleigh’s paperwork.
-4-
The prison Caine was being held in was different than the one Sawyer was in. When I asked to speak to Caine I was taken to a room with phones and glass separating us. It seemed bleecker.
“What a surprise. How is my girl?” Caine said in an almost delighted tone as he took a seat across from me,"You know I have your voice in a jar somewhere,"
I ignored his remarks and pushed the note against the glass
Sawyers is in jail and Rhett is not talking. What are you up to ? Why can’t you play fair ?
“I have not done anything,” Caine said,”I know Jennifer is playing fair. I honestly suppose justice is on my side. As for Mr.Clark well, I have no control over what he does. You should know I have recruited some new members in here and I know some members are still awaiting my release. When I do rebuild United Light you are more than welcome back, all sins forgiven.”
I didn't believe him at all. Justice had to be on our side. I wrote him a note.
How could you be so cruel to me ? Why did you chose me ?
"I admit you were an easy target, your mother would have killed you if I asked her too. And I mean that, when she found out she was having you I told her to have an aborition because it would be a distraction. Your father said no but your mother made an appointment and then I told her I was just testing her faith. I did this often, your mother was like my own little Job. That's a bible reference I imagine you are to ignorant to understand it."
I wrote a new note
You are talking ill of the dead
"You are right, I will kind of miss Melanie. Well, alright what about your father. He was a problem. As a matter of fact I think if he hadn't been having an affair with that cocktail waitress he may have never let me marry you off. He was too distracted. He knewI would have never let him marry Tessa inside the commune, broken marriages are not positive . . . maybe that is why he wanted to leave the commune so badly ?To be with his new family and not to spend time with his precious dumb mistake."
I scratched at the glass and he just laughed at me as the guards came closer to me. I sat back down and they backed off. Caine was just bored, I could not let him win.
"You do seem to love trying to hurt me," he said, "I would come across this glass and teach you a lesson again but, I think you'd like it to much."
I couldn't handle anymore off his smuggness, I pushed the chair out and walked out not looking back.
I went back to the hotel and took the book that I had seen in the bedside. I flipped through it until I found what I was looking for
Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him
I tried to read the whole thing but, it was lost on me. I put it back in it's place and took a nap
-5-
I sipped my orange soda and tried not get bitter. I had wanted ginger ale but, the waiter had misunderstood where I was pointing and I hated writing things out for people. I knew my spelling was terrible and people easily got annoyed with me. Maybe I was just being petty because my father was sitting between Raleigh and Tessa and not near me.
No, I was letting Caine get to me.
“ All she is going to ask is simple yes or no questions, “ Raleigh said giving my father the same speech he had given me.
Dad had come in a few hours ago, I had almost forgotten about the Mitchells’ until I saw Tessa hanging on my Dad’s arm while he pushed Hayley's stroller as they came through the gate. I liked Tessa and I did not mind Hayley but seeing them with my dad still made me angry. I hated the way he kissed her every 5 minutes, I hated how he comforted Hayley when she cried, I knew I would lose it if she ever called him dad. I decided to hide my unhappiness,I didn't even know why I was so mad.
At the beginning of lunch Raleigh had told my dad
about Rhett’s falling out and my dad seemed please that we were no longer being
together. It seemed hyprocritical seeing the way he was with Tessa.
Tessa had her hand on Dad’s leg
as he was leaning looking at the paperwork. The waiter brought out our food and I ate silently, trying to keep a smile on my face not letting my contempt show.
"What kind of questions are we talking ?," Dad asked
"Honestly," said Raleigh,"I have no idea, she is so sly. They will most likely be financial. Just don't lie whatever you do,"
The rest of the meal I was secretly hoping something would happen that would make my dad pay
attention to me.
After some argument from Dad, Raleigh paid the check and we
headed across the street to Jennifer’s office, where we were met with Elisa in the parking lot.
"I hear you are having drinks with the enemy now ?" Elisa whispered to Raleigh.
"No," Raleigh whispered to her,"It's just a bet. It's the nature of the profession she's not the enemy she is the defense. After this case we will all still be people,"
As we walked into the building a car sped steps infront of me nearly hitting me.
"Juliana, watch where you are going," Dad said to me. He had a slightly harsh tone but, as far as attention went it would have to do.
I attempted to be more careful as we made our way into the building and onto Jennifer's floor.
"Mommy! Mommy! look !," Hayley shouted, "I know him !"
I looked to see she was pointing to one of the offices where Jennifer was talking to Rhett. My eyes went directly to Raleigh but, he didn't seem ready to fight again.
“Hey !,” Raleigh said knocking on the office door and then opening it.,”I should have been here. And I need my evidence I've been asking you for it for a week.,”
“Did my secretary forget to tell you about the meeting ?” she said,” It was nothing I was just getting some personal information—age, family nothing big, You can ask the secretary.”
Raleigh seemed to not believe her but he didn't say anything
"Are you ready to take Mr. Reese's depositon ?" he asked
"Yes," she said," Mr.Clark I think we are done,"
“Maybe you can stay outside with Hayley ?” Tessa said to me.
"Actually, why don't you girls go to our break room," Jennifer said," My secreretay will take you and just stay there,give you some water"
The secretary walked us back to a small room in the back of the building with an old looking microwave and a few table and chairs, it was pretty empty and had no windows. I imagined most of these people went out to lunch everyday. I sat down and drank the bottled water while Hayley occupied herself by running the stroller into everything, I was sure she might hurt herself and the bitterness in me wanted to see what would happen.
After an hour the secretary came back in and told me Jennifer wanted to see me.
Raleigh seemed to have a smile on his face and Dad and Tessa seemed fine. I guess it had gone well
“Hi, I just want to ask you about one last thing,” Jennifer said leading me into the room,"So, I can hand over my evidence to Mr. Cameron."
She pulled out a pink laptop and put it on her desk
“Can you confirm these things are yours as well ?”
It seemed like a simple request, I was sure she had found a list of all the expensive wedding gifts I had gotten.
I felt a deep crawl in my stomach as I was suddenly faced with a
slide show of some of the most sick and disturbing images I had ever seen. And of course they were images of me. Images I
had no idea existed.
Images of me and Brad.
In the pictures I had a tears coming down my face but, there was a content look there as well.
I turned to Raleigh but, he was turning pink and seemed trying to recompose himself.
“You never mentioned your client was a sadist,” Jennifer said, “This completely changes the context of your video,”
“You can’t—you—this is--,” Raleigh seems flustered, “Are those images real ? No one will—“
“No one will be a witness to it ?,”
she finished, " A Mr. Bradley Horner, who also happens to be a member of a private BDSM club will witness to it in an out of court testimony. He says he cut her, poured hot wax on her and in an ironc twist struck her consenually as part of their sexual play and this is just the tame stuff,"
The car that almost hit me, was Brad's. He was trying to get away without me seeing him
I saw the screen was still looping when I heard the door slam. I turned to see my Dad had stormed out with Tessa following behind him. I went to go after them but, Raleigh took my arm
“Tell me that isn’t real,” he growled.
I cast my eyes down. How could all my past be coming back to haunt me ?
I couldn't tell Raleigh I only did it because he paid me. I pulled out of his grasp and went into the parking lot but, I couldn’t see Dad. I headed back to the hotel where I saw Dad opening the door, tears of shame were already streaming down my hot face.
I grabbed his arm and he shook me off like I was diseased or something
I'm so sorry, Daddy. Please, I am so sorry don't be mad with me.
I reached for my purse and realized I had left my purse with my paper in the law office.
“Go inside, I’ll be in shortly,” he
said to Tessa. He seemed calm.
“How could you ?” He spat at me,” How could you behave that way ? How could you be so depraved ? I thought we taught you better than that,”
You can't use that line. All You and mom taught me was how to listen and obey whoever supported me and never question him.
“ Is this is why you have been acting
this way ? Dressing this way ? We tried to give you everything and this is how you repay us ? You are
lucky your mother isn’t alive to see that ! Did you have sex with that man ?” he questioned me even though he knew I would never answer
I just shook my head the tears coming down harder, I wanted them to stop but, I also wanted them to buy me some pity.
"Don't lie to me," he sneered
He didn’t
believe me. I didn’t believe me. I had slept in Brad’s bed in practically
nothing, during most nights so maybe we had ? What did sex mean anyway ? Things happened but, I told him no-- it was
never anything I asked for for that I wanted, I was desperate and lonely and more than anything I was so sorry.
“How could you be this way ? How am I supposed to react ? You are so irresponsible, we moved Hayley into your room I noticed you have been hiding your pills, " He shouted at me with every accusation his voice got louder. I had never seen my father take this tone with anyone.
“You are a terrible excuse for a person, No daughter of mine should ever behave this way, in such a perverted depraved manner ! Perhaps God has taken your voice to punish you ! I am so dissapointed in you Juliana I can't even be around you."
I wanted to remind me that nothing had changed to tell him it was a mistake I walked forward to hug him and he slapped me across the face. It was unexpected and hard it knocked the wind out of me and I was sure I heard some kind of squeak come from my throat as I inhaled but I was in to much shock to think about it.
"Get out of my sight," he spat at me and went inside the hotel room, slamming the door.
I heard the soft click of a door
closing behind me.
I opened my door and found my way to me bed, lying in my tears letting the shame and regret wash over me. Now my Dad hated me too. What had I done ?
Caine was
right, though. Some United Light people had started factions over again, maybe there was no point in
trying to convict him. And I did not want those pictures to be seen by anyone in
a court room. I let the thoughts sit with me and I waited for Dad to come and offer me something.
-6-
I was so exhausted from all the crying I slept for nearly 2 days, I couldn't bring myself to even eat. As I was about to go into a 3rd night I made a decision.
I was going to drop my charges. None of this was worth it.
The day I was going to drop the charges I heard a knock on my door at 5 am and opened
the door to see Raleigh. It was like he knew, what I had decided.
“Get dressed,” he told me, “I’m going to talk to your dad for a second.”
There was something serious in the tone of
his voice so, I quickly got dressed and waited out side for him while I scribbled a note.
Who is it ? Is it Sawyer.
Raleigh came out of my dad's room and looked at my note and shook his head.
"I think Sawyer is fine," he said," I haven't kept in contact,"
Raleigh put his arm gently and guided me down the hall, Raleigh never touched me like this. I wrote him another note. I hadn't eaten and I was hungry, He looked at the note and put it in his pocket.
“Jennifer has been really digging it into you,” he said, “She put your DNA in the system from that water you drank and . . . they found out you stole evidence from a police car,”
Then it hit me.
I was being arrested
When I understood what was happening I turned to leave but the elevator but the doors were closing. Raleigh held me in a weak attempt to comfort me as we walked out the lobby where I saw the police car.
“Just go for now,” he told me, “I’ll get you out,”
I saw Jennifer standing to the side of the car and she exchanged looks with Raleigh.
“I could have never predicted this,” she said in an even tone, “I figured there would be a few prostitution charges . . I didn’t think she commited a crime,”
“I’m still going to get you,” Raleigh said but he didn’t seem convinced as he got into the car with me
“Mr. Cameron,” she said
“Yes ?”
“I like rum and coke,”
